Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I'm going to be a doctor! (Because I watch TV)

I was just watching a commercial for Plavix, which apparently is some sort of pill that prevents heart attacks and blood clots. Let me set the commercial's scene for you, incase you haven't seen it:

It's a bright, sunny day.
There's a family reunion.
Everyone's playing some sort of sport involving a ball, except the one older guy who's sitting in a folding chair.
A younger man jogs over and asks the old man to join.
"Not on these old legs!"

Then the younger guy goes on about Plavix and explains how it can help his heart condition and whatever. I'm sure you've all seen the commercials that are basically montage of physically active people while a monologue by an unseen narrator basically gives you a public service announcement explaining the risks of the disease and talks about the benefits of the pill. This, of course, is followed by the side effects of taking the pill, which is almost everything short of death (and sometimes even that. Erections lasting longer than 4 hours can be fatal!)

After that, the camera cuts back to the 2 men and the younger guy says, "Seriously, ask your doctor," in a variety of different ways. Really? Ask his doctor? Is that even logical? By "asking his doctor", not only is he suggesting you ask your doctor, but he's basically suggesting that your doctor's completely oblivious as to how to treat your disease. And you know what? He is. He probably doesn't watch Plavix commercials while watching endless hours horrible day-time television. He doesn't know about erections lasting more than for hours. He doesn't know anything about Abdominal pain, agitation, anxiety, constipation, decreased sex drive, diarrhea or loose stools, difficulty with ejaculation, dizziness, dry mouth, fatigue, gas, headache, decreased appetite, increased sweating, indigestion, insomnia, nausea, nervousness, pain, rash, sleepiness, sore throat, tingling or pins and needles, tremor, vision problems, vomiting.

But you know what? I do! During my winter break, I've watched more mindless TV during the day than you can shake a stick at. Not even a Wiimote.

Next time you're sick, come to me...

...Dr. Phil.

3 comments:

Michael said...

On a serious note, I want to be a forensic science anthropologist because of Bones. Of course, that's not the actual reason, but it's what gave me the idea four years ago.

Let's hope we both reach our goals.

Michael.

Comic Superzero said...

That's ok, I got the idea of wanting to be a writer from a TV show. I'm not sure if Roseanne is the best motivation for a career though... but it was.

Wendy said...

did you know that pharmaceutical companies weren't allowed to market their prescription drugs some years ago? For precisely some of the reasons you brought up. Health care shouldn't be a money-making business.