The bird bird bird, the is the worst!

Today while waiting for my husband's car to be inspected, he and I walked over to a nearby shopping plaza to kill some time. I saw a pet store and immediately went in. I love animals and all, but I really just wanted to see if they had chinchillas. I'd never own one due to the price of one/the fact you're not supposed to separate it from it's mate so you're supposed to buy two, but I love to look

When we walked in, the first thing we did was look at the giant birds they had in the window. We saw this giant cockatoo sitting on top of it's cage that I'm betting was pretty overpriced. The moment it saw us, it started to scale the cage. We thought it was afraid of us at first because as it was climbing down, it hit the cage door with it's foot and made it move. It went past the cage door, however, and plopped down onto the ground.

It stared at us for a moment, with it's head cocked to the side so it could look up at us with it's weird side crazy eye. With his head still cocked, it then proceeded to run after us, only breaking eye contact to look at our shins with it's beak open. When it became apparent he was going in for the kill, we briskly walked away. He chased us for a bit with his head still creepily cocked to the side, until he was distracted by a different customer that was on his phone.

Even though I was laughing, I was a little unnerved. I could hear his little talons click against the tile of the store as he ran amok. The new guy it was chasing was trying to ignore it. He'd turn and walk away from the damn bird, only to turn around to see it essentially standing on his shoe, flapping it's wings. It actually bit at the guy's pants and the mohawk thing on his head fanned out. It was pretty terrifying.

Once we got the nerve to try to get past the bird so we could leave, it noticed us again and stood between us and the door. I was mostly afraid it would follow us out and we would be responsible for paying for it. I'm sure we'd be able to sort the situation out with the owner though. It'd seem a lot more likely that the bird would attach itself to me rather than escape.

We had to actually wait for the bird with it's cocked crazy stare to get distracted by the phone guy again before we ran out the door. Once out, we looked back and he was starring at us through the window on the door.

I'll probably never go back there.

Are cockatoos usually that mean?

Flush it down... Open up!

So my husband and I have been dealing with Smokey living downstairs for awhile now. Things have gotten sort of awesome on that front, though.

The other day we saw her packing stuff into her car. We hoped she was moving, but decided it was likely she was moving some of her late husband's things into storage. Life wouldn't treat us THAT well. Especially as of late.

This last weekend we lost water to our apartment. Apparently some roots had grown into the pipes and water and sewage were getting clogged on their way out. Long story short, it's fixed now, but it was a long weekend of strategic pooping and marathon quick showers.

Thankfully our water was fixed and things were mostly back to normal, because then my husband got food poisoning. After our weekend, I never thought I'd be more thankful for flushing. Turns out I was wrong.

He's better now though. And things just got even BETTER. The police came banging on our door, looking for Smokey. I can't even imagine what she did to have the police after her, but they were pretty desperate to get into her apartment. I imagine she killed like, 20 people with her second hand smoke, but who knows. It was probably something more realistic, like 30 people. Or babies. Or 2 other otherwise happily married men who just want to breathe in their already questionable air.

She's awful.

Also, it turns out she is in fact moving out at the end of this month, so that's pretty exciting! She either got a new apartment, or a jail cell. Either way, I'm happy for her. Mostly for me though. Just sayin'.