Watch your mouth!

Today at my college was a special day. We had a fire drill! I've been at this school now for over 3 semesters, and not once have we had a fire drill. I was in the cafeteria and apparently it was someone's brilliant idea to not install fire alarms in teh cafeteria. I can't imagine why they would anyway. Lets face it, fires don't happen in places involving food and stoves. That's unheard of!

In any case, my friend Wendy and I went outside in the freezing cold air and stood around and joked about the people around us. I then reminded her of last week's episode of The Office, where they also had a fire drill. I then started quoting it and laughing about it.

As we were going back inside after the drill, I quoted this one part where Michael Scott said, "Stay fucking calm! JUST STAY FUCKING CALM!" and this lady who works at the school turned around and said, "HEY! Watch your mouth!" and she gave me a seriously angry look. I was so offended! I mean, not only was I not actually cursing at anyone in particular, but she has absolutely no right to tell me what I can and cannot say. I'm less then 2 weeks away from being 20 years old, and I don't need some old bat telling me to watch my mouth. Regardless of whether or not I was saying anything vulgar to her or anyone around me is none of her business. People really just need to let things go and not try to control what other people do or say. It was really asinine.

Old people protesting?! This must be serious!

First off, here's the video I'm going to be talking about:



For those too lazy to click, a cat was kicked out of a post office in Alabama because someone wrote a letter complaining about it. Now I'm not going to point any fingers at people who might be capable of writing such a letter, but someone must have a strong opinion about cats. Fair enough I guess. Some people are allergic to cats, so it would make sense to have pets like that in privately owned stores and such, and maybe not a federal government building. All in all though, that cat probably wasn't doing anyone any harm.

But, once these old citizens caught wind thanks to their oxygen tanks of the horrible thing that happened to this poor cat, instead of maybe adopting the cat like a sensible person might do, they're actually protesting. Seriously? Of all the things these guys could protest in this world and use their limited yet valuable time tring to change, they pick a cat.

Understandably, while the cat will probably live longer than the majority of the folks in that video, they could still protest something meaningful, like why this video is the most viewed on YouTube of all time. Decent song I guess, but really?

I'm going to be a doctor! (Because I watch TV)

I was just watching a commercial for Plavix, which apparently is some sort of pill that prevents heart attacks and blood clots. Let me set the commercial's scene for you, incase you haven't seen it:

It's a bright, sunny day.
There's a family reunion.
Everyone's playing some sort of sport involving a ball, except the one older guy who's sitting in a folding chair.
A younger man jogs over and asks the old man to join.
"Not on these old legs!"

Then the younger guy goes on about Plavix and explains how it can help his heart condition and whatever. I'm sure you've all seen the commercials that are basically montage of physically active people while a monologue by an unseen narrator basically gives you a public service announcement explaining the risks of the disease and talks about the benefits of the pill. This, of course, is followed by the side effects of taking the pill, which is almost everything short of death (and sometimes even that. Erections lasting longer than 4 hours can be fatal!)

After that, the camera cuts back to the 2 men and the younger guy says, "Seriously, ask your doctor," in a variety of different ways. Really? Ask his doctor? Is that even logical? By "asking his doctor", not only is he suggesting you ask your doctor, but he's basically suggesting that your doctor's completely oblivious as to how to treat your disease. And you know what? He is. He probably doesn't watch Plavix commercials while watching endless hours horrible day-time television. He doesn't know about erections lasting more than for hours. He doesn't know anything about Abdominal pain, agitation, anxiety, constipation, decreased sex drive, diarrhea or loose stools, difficulty with ejaculation, dizziness, dry mouth, fatigue, gas, headache, decreased appetite, increased sweating, indigestion, insomnia, nausea, nervousness, pain, rash, sleepiness, sore throat, tingling or pins and needles, tremor, vision problems, vomiting.

But you know what? I do! During my winter break, I've watched more mindless TV during the day than you can shake a stick at. Not even a Wiimote.

Next time you're sick, come to me...

...Dr. Phil.